Abril 08, 2003

Así son las cosas...

BBC.jpg

Buenas noches, señoras y señores. Les presentamos esta noche, probablemente, el peor informativo de la historia. Solo tenemos una noticia: muerte. Todos sabemos lo que ha pasado. Y la respuesta del cerril de Trillo ha venido a ser una petición a los medios españoles que retiren a sus enviados en Iraq. Claro, para él ¿qué falta va a hacer que alguien se entere de qué pasa? Yo no sabía ni quién eran estos dos hombres que han muerto, y me molestan tanto como todos los que hayan muerto antes... Sin embargo entenderéis por qué me tocan así la fibra... y nadie podrá decir que me ha dado por subirme al carro ahora que he sentido el desasosiego de saber que cualquier día me podría tocar a mí, no es tan descabellado: las guerras nunca acabarán y el que sí (espero) acabará su carrera algún día soy yo y, ególatras que somos los periodistas, existen tantas posibilidades de que acaben mandandome a una guerra como a rellenar bazofia de páginas rosas. De hecho, si me dan a elegir me calzaré yo mismo el casco... antes muerto que indigno. Uno tiene ilusas espectativas de utilidad puestas en ese hipotético deceso. Supongo que Julio Ánguita y José Couso alguna vez también las tuvieron. Pero es de tonto pensar que si acaban dandome a mí, bajarían las posibilidades de que le diesen a algún inocente. Pero no, señores, los accionistas de la guerra no reparan en gastos, la optimización de beneficios acepta incrementar el presupuesto en municiones como para que sea factible acabar conmigo, con el de al lado y con tres niños que pasaran por allí.

Oh, ¿pero qué digo? Si cuando acabe la carrera tendré una brillantísima carrera como encargado de gasolinera. Porque, como dijo el otro día la experimentada borderline que es nuestra ministra de Asuntos Exteriores: "La bolsa, la bolsa ha subido. El petróleo, el petróleo ha bajado". De lo que infiero que BP necesitará de mis impagables habilidades para poner esa gasolinita en los cochecitos de los españolitos, que si mandan a los rojos iletrados esos, son capaces de comprar todo ese barato (sic) combustible para emplearlo en malos fines... como organizar la cremación pública de cierto tipo de personas y bienes inmuebles.

Ahora venían los deportes. El Real Madrid ha ganado 3 a 1 al Manchester y bla bla bla.... ¿qué más da? Tampoco me ha tocado la quiniela. El tenis va bien, hasta que nos toque jugar. Gasol ha perdido una zapatilla.

También iba a hablar de problemas más cotidianos, de los que se nos cruzan por delante y nos dan un par de bofetadas. Pero me dicen los patrocinadores que no hay tiempo.

Últimas noticias: También alguien ha bombardeado la emisora de Al Jazeera, donde hay un muerto más. Querría decir más, pero desde varios bandos se nos está mirando mal. Solo por mirar.

El tiempo de mañana: Transcurrirá lento.

Buenas noches, hasta mañana.

... ¿y quién nos las va a contar?

Posted by germanmj at Abril 8, 2003 03:44 AM
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