Mayo 20, 2003
Doin' time
estrés. (Del ingl. stress). m. Med. Tensión provocada por situaciones agobiantes que originan reacciones psicosomáticas o trastornos psicológicos a veces graves.
Hay días en los que me gustaría ser un psicópata y entrar a saco en una tienda de gominolas, lupara en mano y gritando: “¡Esto es un atraco! ¡Quiero todos los M&M’s verdes de la caja!” Este ha sido definitivamente uno de esos días.
Cerrando la jornada laboral, hago una lista mental de toda la gente a la que me gustaría ver muerta en este momento. Muerta no, pero desangrándose mucho. La encabezan un par de clientes. la continúan un par de políticos y la cierran un par de letrados, abogados de los cuatro primeros. Echo un rápido repaso al Código penal y evaluó atenuantes y agravantes para calcular el tiempo que me echarían. Primer delito, sin antecedentes, enajenación mental –bueno-. Ensañamiento, alevosía, arma de fuego, crueldad con los animales –malo, muy malo-. Quizá sea mejor dejarlo para otro día en que tenga el plan más definido.
Espero que la tarde mejore la mañana. Necesito unas vacaciones.
anoche al llegar a casa tuve la desagradable necesidad de revolver tumbas. en el baúl de "los recuerdos que no son mios, las palabras que nunca te dijé y los poemas que jamás te escribiré" encontré.... oh! un insight.....
Y recuperar el aliento con un halago mentiroso. Acobardarse ante otros ojos, ajenos a la verdad, sin compromiso, sin saber que al final sólo hay un vencedor y ésta vez seré yo.
Resolver el enigma que he traído innato: ser como el viento, libre de la opinión, ser tu mismo e impedir que los demás lo sean. Increparse con ayudas al abandono más fácil. Competir con cada madrugada y comprender quién llega antes. No saber consolarse rozando casi el éxtasis, por los labios derramarse como leche.
¡Para los hijos ingratos el relleno de la Tierra!
No saber nunca más si el retorno es cruel y simple libertad.
Morir como último escape pero con los ojos abiertos ser enterrado. Negarse el aroma del pensamiento y la miel del odio consolador. Relamer el suelo por despecho del pasado y nuevamente volver a empezar en el infierno o enterrarse en el cementerio despojo de los deseos.
20/05/96 >>
¿A ti también te gustan los verdes? ^^P ¿Has probado el Tai-chi? A mi el yoga me sienta bien...
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