Agosto 25, 2003
Hoy va de pecados
Uno, a pesar de lo que algunas lenguas viperinas y malintencionadas van diciendo por ahí, es humano. Persona humana, que dirían aquellos, y como persona y como humano, supongo que no estoy libre de eso que la teología judeo-cristiana ha venido a llamar los “pecados capitales”.
Sed benevolentes comigo, después de todo, hoy ha hecho un calor espantoso.
Gula
Comida, comida y comida. Comida sin freno, casi desfrenada. Enbgullir y tragar sin mesura. Creo que debido a mi constitución puedo engullir todo lo que quiera sin necesidad de preocuparme por calorías o por esos sexy-michelines que comienzan a adornar mi apolíneo cuerpo. Supongo que soy uno de los afortunados; aunque eso mismo se lo escuché a Homer J. Simpson en una ocasión. Si alguna vez reviento comiendo, a lo gordo-seboso-Monthy-Pyton, no me extrañará lo más mínimo. Pero bueno, supongo que no hay nada que no cure una combinación de ALMAX con Manzanilla.
Ira
Siempre me han dicho que soy una persona irritante, sobre todo cuando entro en modo histerico; “las botellas colocadas en orden de fecha de caducidad, con los tapones vueltos y mirando al frente”. Sin embargo, pocas cosas hay que realmente me saquen de mis casillas
Una de esas cosas son las teleoperadoras de las comañías telefóncias; otra es el tráfico. Más concretamente, lo que me saca de quicio es la cantidad de inútiles a los que se les puede llegar a dar un carné de conducir en este país. Te hacen la pirula del siglo, adelantándote por la derecha y cortándote el camino mientras giran a la izquierda y se te quedan mirando desafiantes, casi esperando que salgas del coche con la barra antirrobos a explicarles un par de cositas. Yo me contento a cagarme en su-puta-madre desde mi asiento y a ponerme rojo, mientras me acuerdo de toda su familia. De la viva y de la que reposa en los camposantos.
Sin embargo, los accesos de ira que estas situaciones me producen, se me pasantan rapido como llegan, y apenas cincuenta metros más adelnate, ya no recuerdo al tipejo que me ha hecho una pirula, ni de su madre ni del resto de su familia. La gente dice que doy meido cuando me han visto en ese estado.
Lujuria
Errr creo que será mejor que opinen otras personas, sobre si soy una persona lujuriosa o no. Supongo que lo normalito en una persona “sana”. Dejaremos una descripción detallada de mis parafilias para ese post que jamás escribiré
Pereza
Dormir. Dormir es un placer, semejante al fumar, supongo. Si no durmiese, fumaría. Este verano he llegado a dormir 36 horas seguidas. Sólo me he levantado para ir a la cocina a beber agua y al baño para desaguarla. Coger el telefono a una teleoperadora de Movistar que me quería vender una maravillosa oferta y decirle que como volviese a despertar me pasaba a Vodafone con todos los móviles del despacho.
¿Y si lo puedo dejar para mañana, muchas veces me pregunto para que coño lo voy a hacer hoy?
Soberbia.
Si, lo reconozco. Hay una serie de temas en los que tengo razón. Soy poseedor de la verdad universal absoluta. La Verdad, con mayúsculas. Me da igual que lo que salga de mi boca sea la mayor gilipollez que se haya escuchado en la sala durante decadas. Si algo se dice con la suficiente convicción, se convertirá automáticamente en verdad. Éste es un defecto que me ha llevado a colisionar en numerosas veces con otras personas. La mayoría de las veces, lo solucionamos con un “pues mira tienes tu razón” que da a entender que opinamos que lo que ha dicho la otra persona es un idiotez y que le estamos dando la razón como a los tontos. Después de todo, con inferiores no se discute. Bueno, si que se discute. Para rerise uno de ellos. Pero eso también es tema para otro post.
Envidia.
Señoras y señores del jurado lo reconzoco, Soy una persona envidiosa. Envidio sobre todo la capacidad de trabajo y de sacrificio de otras personas. No envidio la posesiones materiales, como tales, pero si que envidio las muchas cualidades personales que veo en la gente y que yo jamás tendré. Entre mis defectos y las virtudes de los demás, a veces desearía que se pareciesen un poco más a nuestros amadísimos y respetadísimos líderes, para poder envidiarlos un poco menos-¡ojo, léase el anterior párrafo con una media sonrisa irónica cruzando la cara, si no, podría llevarse a mal interpretaciones. Allá el lector-.
Avaricia
Pues lamentándolo mucho, creo que de este pecado, paso. No soy una persona avariciosa. Pragmática, quizás, pero no avariciosa. Creo que el dinero es una necesidad más, pero me niego a que la necesidad de las posesiones materiales me marquen mi existencia. Supongo que me gustan los lujos como al que más; sin embargo no soy un sibarita. Puedo pasar sin ese reprocutor MP3 tan chulo y sin el Ferrari de la revista que hay en el quiosco.
Ya lo habéis visto. De aquí, derechito al infierno. Pero ese, es otro cantar. Creo que dejo demasiadas cosas para otros posts, pero lo voy a achacar a la absenta.
Hola!
Necesito escribir una historia sobre la avaricia, pero no tengo muchas luces. Conoces alguna?
Gracias!
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