Resaca del domingo
Parece que aún tenemos que hablar durante unos días más de política.
El lunes el ambiente que se respiraba en mi depacho era de auténtico funeral, aunque ya no tenía nada que ver con los atentados.
El sorprendente vuelco electoral del domingo había dejado a más de uno un poco escocido y a media mañana ya circulaban dos correos que no tienen desperdicio.
Parece que a más de uno no le ha sentado muy bien el cambio de gobierno.
A todos aquellos a los que los cuesta digerir el resultado de las elecciones les recomiendo:
El primero se llama SOELANDIA SERÁ UN PARAÍSO:
> Soy Feliz y estoy tranquilo:
>
>
> 1) Seguramente la vivienda baje esta misma semana, de hecho voy a vender
> mi
> casa y con lo que saque me compre un chalet en el viso el mes que viene.
>
> 2) Noto que soy más productivo, de hecho desde que he llegado esta mañana
> me
> he fijado que todo se hace con más productividad y tecnología, me pasará
> por
> la tarde por mi ayuntamiento a recoger el portátil y la palm que regalan.
>
>
> 3) Soy Feliz porque se que aunque el tipo único me pueda joder un poco
los
> primeros años (hay que reconocer que pasar al 30% de golpe va a ser un
> poco
> fuerte) me siento bien al saber que Ana Belén y yo pagamos el mismo tipo
> impositivo.
>
>
> 4) Estoy ansioso de que llegue el verano para ir a Ortigueira a la playa.
> Ya no habrá chapapote, el agua será azul cristalina y estará calentita y
> podré hacer submarinismo y disfrutar del la nueva barrera de coral que
> instalará el BNG.
>
>
> 5) Seré muy feliz cuando el día 1 de Abril se acaben todas las guerras,
> ETA
> y Al Quaeda dejen las armas y se dediquen a la mensajería (aprovechando
su
> know how con el envío de paquetes). De hecho podremos desmantelar el
> ejercito (así ya no se estrellarán aviones) y la guardia civil y con ese
> dinero crear el prometido ministerio de la juventud, espero que sea
> suficiente con mi IRPF del 30%, sino no me importa que me lo suban. Todo
> sea por esos simpáticos jóvenes con pancartas y pañuelitos palestinos,
que
> graciosos les quedan eh?
>
>
> 6) Por fin se acabará la inseguridad ciudadana, de hecho acabo de llamar
a
> Securitas Direct para darme de baja, ahhh, noto como vivo más libre en
una
> sociedad en paz y sin crispación, ya no temo a los Rumanos, es más, voy a
> ir a Plaza de Castilla y me voy a traer a una familia para que viva
> conmigo, me parece más directo darles yo el dinero a que se tengan que
> tomar la molestia de robarme el coche y luego tener que encontrar un
sitio
> donde colocarlo.
>
>
> 7) La Bolsa. Antes me hubiese preocupado de que el IBEX se pegue una
> galleta del 2% (tiempo real) pero como PRISA sube un 1,47% (verídico)
(que
> casualidad, que suerte tiene este Polanco) venderé todo y comprare
Prisas.
>
>
> 8) España.Por fin ganaremos el mundial!!!Estoy contento porque como
> participaremos en el mundial con 4 selecciones distintas(un lujo solo
> permitido a Gran Bretaña por inventar el futbol!!) , aumentamos por 4
> nuestras posibilidades de ganar!!! además yo creo que el hermano de Carod
> será un estupendo seleccionador. Lo siento un poco por Ceuta y Melilla
> pero
> ahora es mucho más fácil para los niños dibujar el mapa de España (la
> educación es lo más importante). No creo que tenga que preocuparme por el
> Plan Ibaretxe, Otegui e Ibaretxe parecen gente fiable, no creo que se
> aprovechen de ZP.
El segundo:
>Consejos para lo que queda de 2004:
>* pedir un crédito educativo para tus hijos -- los colegios concertados
>corren peligro de cierre.
>
>* no decir a ningún extranjero que eres español; somos los primeros en la
>historia que elegimos el Gobierno que nos piden los terroristas.
>Personalmente, me da vergüenza.
>
>* no viajar a países árabes -- se han dado cuenta de que podemos ceder, si
>nos aprietan lo suficiente. Así que nos la van a meter doblada.
>
>* practicar más deporte y comer frutas y verduras -- la seguridad social va
>a carecer de recursos, así que más vale mantenerse sano.
>
>* hacerte un seguro de jubilación en un banco suizo, o comprando árboles --
>se acabó lo del control presupuestario, las mejoras para las familias y
>demás; la seguridad social sólo podrá financiar las palomitas que echemos a
>las palomas en el parque. Bueno, a lo mejor nos las comemos nosotros.
>
>* hacerte muy rico -- es la única manera de que no te afecte nada de lo que
>pueda pasar.
>
>* suscribirte a "The Wall Street Journal", si quieres mantener tu derecho a
>la libertad de información veraz.
>
>* afiliarte a ERC, Batasuna (se va a legalizar otra vez) o el PNV -- que no
>te dé miedo ser chaquetero. Con suerte consigues una subsecretaría de
>Ministerio.
>
>* trabajar por cuenta ajena -- si eres autónomo o empresario, cierra el
>chiringuito, que te van a crujir, sin que les importe que trabajas 14 horas
>al día para ganar 20.000 euros al año.
>
>* aprender francés; la política exterior cambia y volvemos a ser colonia
>francesa.
>
>* comprar un casco -- ahora estamos en pelota picada ante el terrorismo.
>Al-Qaida, Hezbolá, ETA y demás gentes saben que 200 muertos es la cantidad
>con que negociamos. Aparte, cuando Marruecos vuelva a invadir Perejil,
>Colin Powell se va a quedar jugando al yo-yo. ETA vuelve a respirar. No
>olvidemos que en 1995, ETA quiso matar a Aznar, cuando era el líder de la
>oposición.
>
>* volver a aprender español -- a partir de ahora, cuando el Presidente del
>Gobierno "negocie" (según dirá El País, Telecinco y TVE, y luego otra vez
>Antena 3), tenemos que entender que el Presidente "se ha puesto vaselina y
>ha ofrecido el recto" a Carod-Rovira, Llamazares, Chirac, Schroeder, etc.
>
>* visitar 11-marzo.org
>
>* si eres militar o guardia civil, busca un buen abogado laboralista.
>Llamazares dice que el Ejército tiene que ir desapareciendo. La Guardia
>Civil va a ser finiquitada.
>
>* si vives en Canarias, Ceuta o Melilla, cambia de residencia; Marruecos va
>a negociar.
>
>* si no eres nacionalista y vives en el País Vasco o en Cataluña, tienes
>dos opciones; o te largas o te haces nacionalista radical. De lo contrario,
>pasarás a ser ciudadano de segunda dentro del nuevo Estatuto de Autonomía.
>
>* pide la independencia de tu región.
>
>* vete a vivir a otro país.
mola!
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